.that's when my life changed forever. Not only did i just shit myself, i was staring at the body og my bestfriend through the window of my car and she was dead. DEAD!!! what am i gonna tell her parents? Oh god, what am i gonna tell my Grandma? She'll be devastated! I know how much she loved annie! I know!!! Oh well i better get this over with.
I get out of the car and go to annie's body. THen i drag her to the river and push her in. Wait... was i not supposed to do that? Will...
"His thoughts are too scattered, just give him a moment to collect." This advice within the high pitched laugh of a well-meaning mother. The tour guide had simply meant to ask her son a simple question, how could the guide know that the son had no intention of answering?
"Well." The guide sputtered, looking for a simpler way to ask the stubborn child with almond eyes if he liked the zoo. Finding nothing suitable, he reached into the cage behind him and pulled out a red snapper. "Here, hold it."
The child held his hands out and mewed with delight....
The disco ball was turning and I was sweating profusely as I danced amidst the twitching light that captured each person's movements frame by frame. My arms flailed in the air, pointed straight up in the chilly night while my torso shook from side to side.
And we were all dancing like this, without a care beneath the stars shimmering against the pitch black sky where the moon was covered in a thin veil of condensed water and soon, we believed, we would all condense up like if we were to stop our apparent motion.
We'd all freeze because we...
She'd always come running when I called. The vampire girl that vanished at daybreak but warmed my bed at night, even though she was a cold-blooded creature.
She read my thoughts, knew when I wanted her, seduced me to the point where all I could do was imagine the next time she lay on top of me, kissing my hungry mouth, sucking my tongue.
Her name was Isabelle. She lived in a castle. Imprisoned for centuries. I believed her. Had to.
What was she really I didn't want to know.
After my wife left me I took to drink, drugs,...
It wasn't my fault. It couldn't have been. She was dead when I got there.
I know my fingerprints were on the gun. It was my gun, of course my fingerprints were on it. Yes, I was the last one to see her alive. But that was hours before she died. I do stand to inherit a large sum of money. I loved her. Why would I kill her over something like that?
The CCTV could easily have been doctored. Besides, you don't see the killer's face. It must be a coincidence that she and I have the same build....
When I was 12, I went to sea. I was on my father's ship for 6 months and 4 days when i caught a glimpse of her.
I had been sitting on a chair on the deck, watching island after island float by when my gaze started slowly moving downwards. I was almost asleep when i saw the fiery red tail splash next to the wooden paneling on the side of the ship. I jumped up, about to call for my father to see this magnificently huge fish when the creature jumped out of the water.
Attached to the red...
I shot my butler. His name was Greg. I shot him because I don't think butlers should be called Greg. They should be called things like Alfred or Jeeves or Cadbury or Pennyworth. Not Greg, who was from New Jersey. He didn't have a British accent. He lisped. And he was a dwarf. And his armpits stank. And he insisted on working naked. That wouldn't have been so bad if his scrotum hadn't been seven feet long so that it dragged behind him when he walked. True, it helped keep the marble floors a little more polished, but grandma kept...
"Welcome back! Our next contestants are the seven year old Billy and his abusive father Jim, from Fall River, Texas. Billy's first and only birthday party contained two hookers, heroin, coke and a lot of gun shooting, Jim's hobbies are NASCAR, lifting and drinking heavily, and apparently throwing awesome birthday parties! However only one of them get's to escape the family alive, tonight, when we play:
ESCAPE THE FAMILY - ALIVE!
Let's just jump right away into our first game, called:
TAKE A HIT, YOU LITTLE WUSS!
Here are the rules. Billy. You stand behind this line, while we shoot...
She adjusted her collar, the mic hidden surreptitiously behind the pearly buttons. Her career was waning to the point were SNL parodies portrayed her as a confused old hag and the use of her name was synonymous with the people she had worked hard to objectify. She had once sparred with Palin, but was now firmly under the Madame President's heel.
"I can take you away from here," the apparition wavered into view. The faint scent of lavender and soft scratch of lace on silk pervaded the air. "Ma chèrie, souvenez vous la contracte?"