There is nothing good about Monday. I feel bad every time I think that, because then I realize, "Well, I could be dead, or in Cleveland, and then my Monday would be much worse." And then I feel bad for making fun of Cleveland in my head, because I actually liked it the one time I went there.
Even though I don't do much here, it's hard to escape the native smugness that comes with being from New York City. It is all going on here. The thing is, I don't want to do most of it. I'm pretty internal,...
"hello Maggie." Said mother I couldn't believe that she was trying to talk to me now. After all the things she put me through, over a cup of tea! "Yes Mother?" I responded in a malicious tone. "Are you ready to apologize?" She said as though she was expecting it now. What was up with her and the stupid customs that she brought from England. "Yes Mother, I'm sorry about your stupid cup of tea and your stupid customs that make no sense here in AMERICA." I screamed at her. Seconds later i felt the white hot sting of a...
Spinning. Reams and reams of golden thread passed through her fingers as the spinning wheel conutinued on its endless spiral of revolutions. She had blisters now on all the fingers of her right hand. Blood seeped from under her nails and dulled the glow of the thread as it piled higher and higher on the floor beside her. She wondered what the point was but knew she couldn't stop. He would be back soon and then she would know her fate. Spinning. He said that if she got through all of it he would give her her freedom. She didn't...
I was on too many fucking drug to put up with this bullshit hipster girl with a balloon full of who the fuck even knows. Fuck that. I knew that I was signing up for a quirky-ass time but I didn't realize that that meant chasing someone through alleys full of rapists and foreigners and then what. My prize would probably be equally quirky, like ten gallons of Sunny D or an Altoid tin full of minty condoms. At this point I didn't care about the prize. I just wanted the game to end.
I'd been dragged into this by...
Water. It's what keeps the world alive. There is more water than land on the Earth. So what would happen if all the water in the world suddenly disappeared? Simple. We'd all die. And that's exactly what happened.
The day all the water disappeared, I was making coffee in my kitchen. I poured some creamer in and stirred. It was raining. But suddenly it stopped. I was a little curious. I walked outside. No puddles, no water in the gutter. Nothing. I went back inside and turned on the faucet. Nothing. I decided to call up my mother and ask...
"I can't write something like that" I said gruffly.
It was in the darkened room as I stared upon the sunset of the days of the world.
"What are you talking about?" said the 2nd person in the room.
"Me" I said
"Just go with the prompt" said Darrin, the 3rd person.
"Okay" I sighed.
"Once, in Beijing, a young girl in a red gown huddled in a doorway, clutching a Tec-9 in each hand. She kicked the door open and let loose a barrage of bullets. A hail of gunfire, proceeded by a red mist of blood. She went...
I know that I didn't choose the smartest person in the world to be friends with but she is pretty, tall, and good at sports. Kaila was excellent at being stupid, but she could be smart when she needed to be.
We were in the middle of a math test when she said, "SEVEN MINUS TWO EQUALS EIGHT RIGHT?''
Everybody laughed and made fun of her but I wasnt going to have that because she is like my best friend.
"Hey everybody stop laughing at her that is really mean and you dont understand her mind like I do!''
"Haha...
He watched as she leaned against the tree, staring at him. "What?" he asked self-consciously as he shifted in his seat. "Do I have a booger?"
She laughed, stood up, and shook her head. "No, silly," she replied. "I'm just thinking." She walked over to him and looked down into his brown eyes. "Haven't you ever wanted to walk? I mean, sitting in that thing all day's gotta suck."
"I don't sit down all day!" Mark said to his friend. "You know that, Mary. You spend half the day at my house on the weekends."
"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged....
"I'm in love with a robot."
"What?!"
"I am in love with a robot. I really am. I just realized it."
"I am concerned that you don't know what love is."
"Well - me too, but that's not the point. I am concerned that you don't know what robots are."
"What is a robot? Who is this robot that you "love?"
"A robot is someone who functions on the basis of identifiable algorithms or functions. It is someone who may appear human but is not. You."
the man in the purple tuxedo had just bought a nice pair of boots. Walking home from the boot store he got attacked by an army of boot hungry hobos who wanted to eat their boots. The hobos were dressed in togas and had beards like frozen waterfalls down to their feet. The hobos combined their great beards to form a giant lasso and lassoed the pair of fancy boots away from the man in the purple tuxedo. The hobos ran away with the boots planning to dine on them later that evening. The man in the purple tuxedo...